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Blimey, a lot of crap has come out of early access lately. It was like showing a roomful of ten-year-old school kids that period video and watching the innocence fade from their eyes one by one. I played Rogue Legacy 2, which last week triumphantly produced the stained sheet representing its graduation from childhood innocence. Not to be confused with Rouge Legacy, which is the biopic of the man who came up with the idea for boobs in Sonic the Hedgehog, Rogue Legacy is, oddly enough, a Legacy Roguelike. Each time you die you pass control to the next heir in your family line, which presumably means each attempt takes place decades apart, so it’s odd that none of the NPCs age or move elsewhere and that the surrounding world never invents flying cars, no matter how many generations go through the meat grinder of my shit dodging reflexes, but we’re probably not supposed to point that out. Also, since the definition of “roguelike” these days has about as much to do with the original Rogue as a pig holding a fish in its mouth has to do with Yoko Ono, all of your upgrades and progression through the streak castle boss battles are retained. permanently.